What do fidget spinners have to do with taxes? I’m not really sure but Tom dared me to write this blog post so here we go.
The fidget spinner. Alrighty, now that we’ve got that collective groan over, please allow this millennial to explain why fidget spinners are awesome.
First thing’s first. They look cool. At least, the ones I own do. I have one where the outer, spinny part is shaped like a batarang from Batman. The other sports red, white and blue with Mr. Rodgers’ mark in the middle. No, not a red sweater. It’s a shield.
Aside from superhero fidget spinners, these plastic contraptions can help concoct a recipe of mischief and general tomfoolery in the office if you are careful. If not, you’ll just be ostracized, outcast for your incessantly obnoxious use of a child’s toy.
How to Fidget Spinner
First, depending on the type of spinner you have, it can function as a pencil holder. Try it, just slide your pencils into the little holes in your fidget spinner and observe that your need for an unused, corny-joke-bearing coffee mug filled to the brim with discarded pens and Sharpie markers is now lesser than it was before.
Second, use one as a coaster. Sure, it requires a bit of coordination and prayer. Don’t let that detract from the fact you may have a coaster with an oscillating base. If your mug is small enough, you can even rotate your pencils around your mug to act as a line of defense.
Third, do trick shots with it. Do you really think the Dude Perfect guys were always known for trick shots? No, they were goofing around one day and decided to record it on video, then put it on the Internet. And then did it again, and again. And again. Now they own one of the most subscribed to businesses on YouTube. They even did a fidget spinner trick shot video, here’s the link so you can have some inspiration. If you’re going to screw around at the office, you might as well develop a skill that can help you grow wealth and international fame.
Fourth, you can use it in place of your fingers on your keyboard and mouse. Try to see how many words per minute you can type with fidget spinner fingers. I dare you. My score was abysmally low compared to my normal 80-105 WPM speed.
Or, better yet, use your fidget spinner fingers to set up a meeting with Tom to discuss and prepare your 2018 tax filing.
Lastly, I mean you can always just fidget with the thing as intended.